by Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey
'Twas the eve of midwinter, and all through the coven The witches were cookin strange things in the oven.
There were mugwort frittitas, and dragon's blood stew
And mescaline eggnog and mandrake fondue.
There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill pate
And spotted owl kidneys, and wombat flambe.
The circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked
In the hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked.
When out of the hot tub arose such a clatter
I jumped on my broom to see what twas the matter.
And what should I see in the blackberry thorns
But a soaking wet Goddess and eight unicorn!
"I was sitting down with my vibrating phallus
And a good book," she muttered "You bitches are callous.
I came when you called, over all my objections,
And got loss in the woods- you give lousy directions.
You turkeys invoked me, now look at my dress
My period's late and I got PMS."
She cursed and she muttered, she looked like a wreck
The unicorns whimpered and sat on the deck.
We gave her some weed and got her some grub
We brought her clean towels and she soaked in the tub.
Then she rose, hot and dripping,
And gave us her blessing,
And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing!
"On Isis, on Eris, Oya and Astarte!
On Ishtar, Inanna! Kali and Hecate!"
We heard her exclaim as she climbed through the air
"Thank Goddess there's only eight sabbats a year!"
The Dedication to the Goddess , The Goddess in the Kingdom of Death , To Be A Witch , Tears From Heaven , The Dream , Celtic Heartbeat , The Eve of Widwinter , Because the Goddess and God Love Me , So, You Wanna Be a Witch, Eh? , Can you Imagine?? , If I Had My Life to Live Over , Witch , You , First Yule , Cad Goddeu , Colours
A Letter From Mom And Dad , An Open Letter to a Witch , Banner Links , Blessings , The Charges of the Gods , Crafts , Correspondences , Devotions , Dictionary , Goddess Months , Gods and Goddesses , Herbs , Invocations , Magickal Needs , Meditations , Metaphysical , Miscellanous Items , Oghams , Recipes , Redes and Laws , Rituals , Runes , Sitemap , Spells , Short Stories , Tarot , Text Links , Webrings , What is Wicca? , What Law Enforcment Agencies Need To Know About Witchcraft